Words I never said

i wanted a future
I loved this little face that she would make when she was confused
I know she didnt know that I loved her just the way she is...
I never told her that i would never be ashamed to have her name tied to mine or vice versa
It didnt matter, short hair or long...and even with her nerdy glasses on that she was still amazing...
The fact that i love how opinionated and dam stubborn she is....she will never know
I will never get to tell her that, if her parents disapprove of me, that I would always be respectful to them... because any 2 individuals who could produce a woman so extraordinary atleast deserve me being cordial
Its just some shit thats been on my mind, foreal, the fact that there is so much that id love to say to her

....it just sucks when you know she wouldnt even want to hear it

I dont even know...

I dont even now where my life is headed
i dont even know what im doing
ive made my mistakes..and ive over analyzed the situation

Ive partially become what I didnt want to become
im THAT guy in my mind that the 2009 me didnt want to become
aside from school the past year of my life has been horrible

Ive lost the only girl who I genuinely loved
I broke someone elses heart
made life altering mistakes due to MY OWN lack of good judgement

im depressed AF (at the moment)...

the sad part is that i honestly dont care, about too much....
I blame myself for the this turn in life, but whatever, its behind me

people ask me "are you ok?" " how are you?"...and i lie, I know they dont want to hear it
Too often people come to me for happiness and advice, and at the moment Its a struggle


I rarely talk my family because i cant even really face them, i know they are disappointed in me....

*sigh*
....
i dunno

it is, in fact what it is...

and the lamest part about all of this is that this is the most honest ive been with myself in a while

Happy New Year

Starting this year off with random fly shit

LETSFUCKINGO!



J.Crew
Burberry
Banana Republic
Sperry

CHRISTmas *side eye*

Thought I recieved my fair share of J.Crew and Ralph Lauren....and ofcourse my lovely South Beach Lebron 8s, my most important gift wasnt under the tree surprisingly....

as I sat around laughing watching Coming To America with my SPSF crew, it crossed my mind that, its moments like this, with people I love that i truly live for. I love getting dressed up on my Ivy league prep shit, but its the days where im in a tee, cargos and sneakers that seem to lead to the most fun, surprisingly...not to mention every woman whether they admit it or not loves a sneakerhead *shrug* no debate....easy

but i digress, its the simple moments that i truly remember

1.) after i stuffed my face with Xmas food my family and i cracked jokes and told stories and above all shared love and laughs....i sat back and though "wow, im truly blessed with this moment"

2.) as i mentioned before watching Coming To America, quoting lines with my friends, literally laughing my ass off, then realizing, "shit, this is the dope shit that you look back on"

3.) sitting on the couch as everyone watches this football game me and my SISTER, have a completely, DIFFERENT conversation that has me in TEARS, laughing...Though she isnt my blood, i consider her family, and i believe that is the strongest term of endearment one can give someone, unconditional love

4.) while driving home from, i was about 5 minutes away, it hit me like the metaphorical "sack of bricks", an instant feeling of being HOME, like truly being HOME...something about knowing that if ANYTHING happened to me at this very moment, i WOULD be fine...any trouble that came my way could be solved, or atleast helped by any number of friends and/or family.....a strong feeling a safety


needless to say....today was a good day, to say the absolute LEAST

Dash Snow

RIP the OG Life Liver


as an upcoming graduate i am one of the #1 proponents of #LifeLivin
oh..umm

Life Livin- verb: Living YOUR life with no regret and ENJOYING EVERY MINUTE


"Moments like these never last"<--epitome of Life Living, youll never get this moment back, EN-FUGGIN-JOY








Dash Says:
-I have to listen to music all day long. That keeps me going Im a pretty dark person Ive thought about ending it a million times

-I dont believe in laws, or the system by any means whatsoever, i try not to obey that at anytime. Thats what i believe in not believing in

Grinchin'

from bottom to top if you havent caught on...




I mean seriously, most people cant correctly praise/celebrate/worship their Christian God purposely, what makes you think the even have the capacity to praise a pagan God? Aint shit pagan goin on in the mainstream, aside from capitalism infused with materialism....and im completely fine with that

but anyways Merry Christmas and continue to be blessed through CHRIST into the new year

I give thee

Ive decided to come back to blogging
This blog and writing shit down helps me stay sane

so this christmas, i give myself my sanity back

=]



....for now