The worst

...the greatest fear is the fear of the unknown
the greatest obstacle is the glass ceiling
Obstacles unforeseen but most definitely THERE

Balance

while that dark side of my mind continues to be just that....dark, there is a lighter note to cancel it out.

I am blessed with opportunity
I just hate waiting...
So thankful for what ive been given
the good and the bad, are shaping me
...this multifaceted individual
this existence of potential
...this
....me
I just hate waiting
I just want to press fast forward
I just want to live my life
...and not be scrutinized about my past

I know God is here...I know he is working on me
Im trying...
I will be fine

Getaway

with perfect timing I got a getaway...
a moment of clarity
a moment to be me
...its so cancerous to live this double life
Im seriously pushing my breaking point
but through it all im back...3 days later
ready to continue this...thing...life

Lets just see...

raise your hand if youve ever seriously contemplated suicide
and i dont mean an "FML" moment...i mean the real deal
the internal struggle of "well if I do it now, whats the best way?"...the back and forth or "if I do it now would I care if people called me weak?"...or my favorite "if i was to do it now do I really think God will save my soul?"...in my mind repeating "My father, if it is possible, my this cup pass" until i realize ive literally had the same thought for 30 minutes....

...oh no one *looks around*
me either
*walks away*

Pieces of me

Why do you want to hurt me?
You are me and I am you...
I dont understand, why?
The world is hard enough...
Its supposed to be US vs. them
Not Me vs. You vs. Them...

You put up this front like youre the strongest person, but youre not
Very few people believe you, and would even choose to be in your presence
I guess youre too wrapped up in believing the world is against you
Youre perception is shaping your outlook, and you wonder why youre alone

I hate that its this way
I feel like im the bad guy
I know im not, and it sucks


people say, they cant respect someone like me, but in my mind i think "you dont know me, or what ive been through, its not my fault"
...and if you only know the damage youve done, you know the damage youve done, but you dont care...and ill never be the one who cares the most.....NEVER....and ill leave it at that...just like that...pieces on the ground
pieces to be stepped on and wounds to be reopened with each step in our dirty relationship...you pretend you dont see these chards and so shall I...

You call it

No spears, but fears and maybe a few Lears
Efficiency often yields deficiency
..but thats up to you to decide

Laws used as claws of a monster global-sponsor
America, what does it encompass? or is it the pompous fool
There are two sides to a story, pursuit of the Power

and the Glory, that is diamond quarry
while the lesser see the oppressor

Pair the nation with corporation.
....then ask your self who are you fighting for?

Lines blurred by what occurred when He said oil but I saw toil

Its all an episode of Gossip Girls
when money is the motive, education gets demoted

(ehhh i dunno just a thought from my iphone)

Politics

Founding Fathers are NOT my Fathers
Fathers love their sons, and love we had none.

We didn't feel the love when you counted us as 3/5th's
...as if we're broken.
If we are BROKEN, its because YOU broke us.

You broke us and strategically pieced us together.
Pieced us together with half truths and propaganda.
...all held together by Uncle Tom's famous glue, sticky..

Gave us leftovers, we made it cuisine.
Created a culture that wasn't OURS, from a leftover meal of hatred.

After you had your way, you kicked us to the curb...
..now you wonder why we hold tight to the ghetto.
It's that only thing that was ours.

Make us jump through hoops for pension plans...
..now wonder why we're so athletic.
Wandering Minstrels searching for an ear.

My Founding Father was no Father, now ask me why we're excited for the First Black Family...

Music Life

If you can listen to any song at any time, I feel like you arent listening to the words, I find myself saying "ehh thats not the vibe right now" so much....I just think music should match my mood, from hip hop while doing homework, to reggae, to rock, to R&B or oldies soul on a sunny day...

I mean whatever your mood is, find that soundtrack....I find that its the meaningless, emotionless, "throw-away" rap that is killing the game...shit that has no meaning and no purpose other than a dope beat...and thats unacceptable

South Florida= Love

I love being home...

Lose Lose

There are just some people in the world you just cant win with....and thats life
...the people who may even do nice shit for you, but when they get a chance, they are the first to metaphorically kick you in the face...

....that aint life

people who claim and hold fast to shit that they ARE SUPPOSED TO DO...like seriously, you mad you have responsibilities? really?

or people who let outside variables dictate their interaction with you?....so the world shitted on YOU, so you mad at me?...riiiiiight


..and through all of this, im supposed rock with you!?

shit aint nothin logical about that.....and though i win for callin you out on ALL OF THIS....I now lose because you still dont recognize your fault

Example

*cues Curren$y- Example*

I am an Example, of intelligent surroundings
I am an Example, of what happens when a child is motivated and held to high expectations

....Most importantly I am an example of an African American(Bi racial if you wanna be technical)male, who has attained a bachelors degree, in 4 years.

I was rudely awakened by the gravity of my achievement....as small as it is to me, I failed to realized that many people look up to me while others take pride in who I have become. I believe that everyone who has a circle of people of whom they have repeated interaction with will have SOMEONE look up to them, or take pride in who they are...whether family or friends or just the lil homie from the ball court or whatever.

I only right this as a mental note to myself, to be aware that I am an Example, and should lead as such.....