Im single because i really dont think im capable of being with a person....sure i have friends who i love unconditionally AND WILL DO anything FOR. But when it comes to a girlfriend, i really dont think im capable of accepting someone, flaws and all and still finding them just as attractive. IM SUCH A MENTAL PERSON....i analyze everything. No clue why, but it is what it is....
Im an only child...im fine being alone, and to some extent my personality encourages me being a loner. I do things on MY time, i dont look for people when i wanna make moves....i suppose im too independent when i comes to my peers
Because im so laid back, i attract girls who are more aggressive...that makes sense, girls who would make he effort to let her presence be known.....girls who know me before i even know they exist. Girls who like me, more than I like them......aka girls who annoy the shit outta me...
[addition] Just looking at what others call "love"....i know im no capable of that....
no one person's happiness will never be the basis of my own aside from my kids...
My life will never revolve around an individual, aside from my kids
I dont want to reenact "the notebook", i seriously hated that movie
Sunday, April 3, 2011
something ive learned
....few people know me.
Even my closest friends, dont know "me".
Having a convo with my homegirl about relationships, she painted me as the most shallow guy ever. Really offensive, as if i'd never date a girl who wasnt a 10. Word to my ex, if we are compatible based on personality im down for the cause forreal.
I may joke about lightskin shit, or other aesthetics, but that shit doesnt matter as much as people think.
...to some extent i feel like im on a selfmade island.....no one person knows everything about me, so i have to BE different versions of myself to different people. Its the inability to be real with alot of people....they dont want "Real"....people have this pre-composed opinion of me when they meet me....shits wack...
...one day i will probably break, but til then...Charades for everyone
Even my closest friends, dont know "me".
Having a convo with my homegirl about relationships, she painted me as the most shallow guy ever. Really offensive, as if i'd never date a girl who wasnt a 10. Word to my ex, if we are compatible based on personality im down for the cause forreal.
I may joke about lightskin shit, or other aesthetics, but that shit doesnt matter as much as people think.
...to some extent i feel like im on a selfmade island.....no one person knows everything about me, so i have to BE different versions of myself to different people. Its the inability to be real with alot of people....they dont want "Real"....people have this pre-composed opinion of me when they meet me....shits wack...
...one day i will probably break, but til then...Charades for everyone
....then she said
" i wanna live through you. I feel like you have the best life"
....i got alittle mad. By no means is my life perfect. She has a corporate job that flys her around. Were both single though...
..i guess is just one of those things, you dont know my life, you just know the outer appearance of it.
....i got alittle mad. By no means is my life perfect. She has a corporate job that flys her around. Were both single though...
..i guess is just one of those things, you dont know my life, you just know the outer appearance of it.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Complexity of me
As a person, I cant even explain who I am. Im more than my preppy attire, or a closet full of sneakers. Im more than a mind full of rap/Hip Hop lyrics. Above all....im more than my mistakes....believe it of not.
...but the one thing I am, is genuine.
I feel sorry for anyone who is ever faced with the question, " C*********n?....who is that?"
...I just am, honestly *shrug* and i think its better that way
...but the one thing I am, is genuine.
I feel sorry for anyone who is ever faced with the question, " C*********n?....who is that?"
...I just am, honestly *shrug* and i think its better that way
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Map
When X marks the spot, you except all weaknesses, faults, and short comings. When you see the beauty in imperfections you know youre in the right spot...
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Where'd you get that?
is it not laughable that the earth, which was given to Man for free is now being bought and sold. Am I alone in seeing the humor in one claiming land, air space, sea, as his own?
Ok you claim to own this plot of land...on what grounds is this your property? Who gave it to you?...oh you bought it from a real estate/ housing developer?...where did he get it from?...cool, ok he bought it from the government?...may I please ask where did the United States of America get this land in which we call Florida? ....wait, well let me stop you before you even answer.
History tells us that Florida was originally inhabited by Indians, the real native Americans....Some pretentious fraud of an explorer arrives and names a place that already has people living in it, who for sure named it something totally different from "Flowery land". I may have missed that class where it became okay to TAKE whats not yours. What kind of people does it take to SEE a culture, living, thriving, and for not reason other than shear difference, label them as inferior and insignificant?
I digress...the humor in this is so blatant. Since when did TAKING become means of acquisition? Are our primordial instincts that solid and ingrained in our genetic make up that we cannot fathom idea that more force does not equate to more rights? Maybe im retrospectively picking on my worldly ancestors, but then again, maybe they did know better. Commodification of arbitrary THINGS just seems odd to me....like what egg-head individual decided that it made sense in his mind to take the ground we walk on and claim it as his own. And what group of idiots went along with that. I wont even get on how crazy it is for one to claim lands that he doesnt need as necessary to existence as his own.
My train of thought leads me to the idea that the concept of value can only truely exist when property can be defined. Because after all, what value does anything have if it essentially can be used by anyone? Our sole purpose as humans must be to acquire. Are we really that dumb, to only see the importance of something once someone puts a limit on it? Land has no value when its community property, and neither does gold when its sitting in a mine. In a modern example, money has a lowered value when an individual currency is in high production.... Is it fear?...fear that if He has, and I dont....that i am now worse off? Is it a lack of individual thought, that says if He does it, then it is therefore okay for me also?
who the hell knows why people do what they do, but i'll be damned if theres no humor in someone claming whats naturally occurring, before they existed, and hopefully after they are gone and forgotten as their own....
Ok you claim to own this plot of land...on what grounds is this your property? Who gave it to you?...oh you bought it from a real estate/ housing developer?...where did he get it from?...cool, ok he bought it from the government?...may I please ask where did the United States of America get this land in which we call Florida? ....wait, well let me stop you before you even answer.
History tells us that Florida was originally inhabited by Indians, the real native Americans....Some pretentious fraud of an explorer arrives and names a place that already has people living in it, who for sure named it something totally different from "Flowery land". I may have missed that class where it became okay to TAKE whats not yours. What kind of people does it take to SEE a culture, living, thriving, and for not reason other than shear difference, label them as inferior and insignificant?
I digress...the humor in this is so blatant. Since when did TAKING become means of acquisition? Are our primordial instincts that solid and ingrained in our genetic make up that we cannot fathom idea that more force does not equate to more rights? Maybe im retrospectively picking on my worldly ancestors, but then again, maybe they did know better. Commodification of arbitrary THINGS just seems odd to me....like what egg-head individual decided that it made sense in his mind to take the ground we walk on and claim it as his own. And what group of idiots went along with that. I wont even get on how crazy it is for one to claim lands that he doesnt need as necessary to existence as his own.
My train of thought leads me to the idea that the concept of value can only truely exist when property can be defined. Because after all, what value does anything have if it essentially can be used by anyone? Our sole purpose as humans must be to acquire. Are we really that dumb, to only see the importance of something once someone puts a limit on it? Land has no value when its community property, and neither does gold when its sitting in a mine. In a modern example, money has a lowered value when an individual currency is in high production.... Is it fear?...fear that if He has, and I dont....that i am now worse off? Is it a lack of individual thought, that says if He does it, then it is therefore okay for me also?
who the hell knows why people do what they do, but i'll be damned if theres no humor in someone claming whats naturally occurring, before they existed, and hopefully after they are gone and forgotten as their own....
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